Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Fudge's Words of Wisdom

Hi Everybody,
Have you noticed that your peeps tend to get all worked up over the silliest things? Last weekend Mom went into her office to play with taxis. She does this every year about this time.  Instead of paying ball outside with us, she spends all day in front of the computer surrounded by papers and instead of smiling and talking to us, she gets grumpy and says lots of bad words. Then at the end of the day Mom and Dad get together and go thru the papers and either get grumpier or sometimes they get happy.
 I don't know a lot about taxis but I know I like to ride. When Mom said she was going to do taxis I watched out the window but I didn't see a single car and she didn't leave the house, so what are these peeps talking about? Why get so worked up over a taxi?

Peeps should learn a few things from us dogs about relaxing and enjoying life. Take poop for instance.  Every dog enjoys the scent of fresh poop, either our own or that of another animal. We can spend a lot of time sniffing and taking in all the finer qualities of  a warm pile of poop. No two are the same, just like snowflakes.
But have you noticed how peeps react to fresh poop? They go nuts. When Mom or Dad get a whiff of fresh poop, we know what to expect. They line us up and do a butt check. Then someone is sure to wind up in the bathtub. What a waste!

The peeps use something called shampoo to destroy all our fine doggie fragrance that we've worked so hard to establish. Now think about shampoo. Sham means fake and poo means poo. Why on earth would you wash us with fake poo when we are perfectly able to make ourselves smell like real poo. It doesn't make any sense.
Then there's the issue with sticks.On a warm sunny day we all love to find a good thick stick and make mulch out of it. But when it's cold or rainy, we like to bring those sticks inside and chew in comfort on the carpet, in front of the TV.  The peeps are fine with us mulching outside in the grass, but they freak out when they see a fine pile of fresh mulch on the carpet. They yell and grab that big noisy dirt sucking machine and attack our handiwork. It just disappears. After all our hard work, it just disappears. How's that for gratitude?
Peeps need to chill and start thinking more like dogs. Accept others for the rich earthy doggie aroma that they possess naturally. Stop worrying about invisible taxis that don't even appear after hours at the computer. 
So, my advice for peeps is go roll in the yard, pee on a tree and find a good stick to chew. It will help your blood pressure and make you a nicer person to live with. Oh, and take more naps. If you aren't busy doing something important like eating, take a nap. You'll feel a whole lot better

Your pal, Fudge


Foley Monster, Pocket and River Song said...

I hide when I hear the word taxis. We know something bad is going to happen. Whenever River poops my parents race me to pick it up before I can inspect it.

Molly the AireGirl said...

Excellent words of advice, Fudge! I never thought about sham-poo that way before. You are sure smart!

Susan said...

First time I have laughed out loud in a long time and was very glad I wasn't having coffee as it would have been all over the screen! Thank you for your posts! I hardly every reply but I always catch up once a week. Stay warm and hug all the furry ones.