You all know what a superior dog I am. I'm handsome and smart and tremendously popular with the ladies. Why would anyone want another dog when they have me?
As everyone knows, Mom and I went to school together. She wanted me to learn the million and three commandments. See that green bag tied to her waist? That's my special school treat bag.
See how I'm watching Mom very closely? That's one of the million and eight commandments, keep your eyes on Mom for any signals.
Here I'm performing a perfect example of the commandments down and stay. These are hard ones for ordinary dogs, but obviously they were a breeze for someone as smart as me. When we finished learning all the million and eleven commandments Mom and I went to some competitions and showed some judges how smart I was.
The judges recognized my superior intellect and ability. They saw how well I had learned the million and seventeen commandments and awarded me these ribbons which made Mom very happy.
Well, here's the problem. In one word....
.....Noah!! Mom has started teaching Noah the million and twenty seven commandments. Can you believe it???
I saw Mom get out my school bag and I got all excited. I thought we were going to go off by ourselves and practice the million and thirty two commandments, but instead she took Noah.
Noah... that little dork that was only about the size of a quarter pounder when he was born. I suspected he wasn't even my kid till the DNA test came back. He can't do anything.
I'm the one who brings the ball back when Mom throws it, not Noah. I'm the one who jumps in her lap every night, no matter what she's doing and tells her that she's a great Mom. Noah just puts his head on her knee and looks stupid.
Noah just wanders around with Mom and stands behind her for protection when things get too rough. What a wimp!!
So I ask you, do you think it's fair for my Mom to teach Noah the million and forty four commandments, when she has me around, ready and able to do them?
Look at that sad sack. Do you really think that guy is capable of going in front of judges and demonstrating the million and sixty two commandments and getting ribbons to make Mom smile?
So, there you have it. My Mom doesn't appreciate the treasure she has in me.
Mom said I could use the blog as long as I reminded everyone about bandana day. Wrap your pet in something red and send us the picture. June 10 will be here quicker than you think.