Monday, December 19, 2016

Year End Confession

Hi Blogville. I haven't been around much lately, though every morning I sit on the couch with a cup of coffee and read each of your blogs. I just haven't been able to comment.

Over the years, I've shared with you that I fight a constant battle against depression. It's a battle I've been fighting my entire life and I'm dealing with it now. When I lived in Maryland I took part in a depression research program at Johns Hopkins. Unfortunately, I learned that my depression doesn't respond to medications, so I've had to teach myself coping techniques. For the last few years these have been fairly successful, but they don't seem to be working so well now.
I'm aware that I often experience a letdown at year end for any number of reasons that I won't bore you with just now. There's also a little S.A.D. thrown in there at this time of year.

This year I've been hit hard and I'm really struggling with it and it doesn't feel like I'm making any progress. I'm trying to force myself to do the things that ordinarily make me happy and not just get sucked into the dark side of everything I see, hear and feel.

Though I sit down at the computer to blog, it just feels too hard and I walk away.

So tonight I'm making a year end resolution to really try to experience even some small pleasure from the things around me. I'm also going to try to blog several times a week, even if they're short posts. My sweet Fudge will help me with that.

Thank you for sticking by us for all these years. Your responses are so important to me and I'm proud to be a citizen of Blogville.


rottrover said...

Oh Sue! Depression sucks and it's real - though I'm sure that Rob and the dogs know how hard you're struggling right now. Lots of people don't understand how painful it is because it doesn't "show" on the outside. We are sending rottie kisses and virtual human hugs to you. And some California sunshine for your S.A.D.

-Otto, Osa and Lisa

Amber DaWeenie said...

I've been there too and I know that feeling you're talking about. Take one day at a time. And I've also found that when that feeling starts to engulf me, I just grab one of the pups and hang on tight. That's the best medicine. I'm sending you lots of hugs and some warm Florida sunshine too.


Bella Roxy & Macdui said...

Come on, dogs. Your mum needs a group hug right now! We hope the sun starts shining for you very soon. Totally understand that blog words just don't come sometimes. Hang in there.

Molly the Airedale said...

We're sending you HUGE hugs, Miss Sue♥

Matilda the Boxer said...

Blogville is always here to support you, no matter how rarely you post!

♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

We are so sorry you aren't feeling better, Sue. Depression is any ugly thing and it seems to rear that ugly head when one least expects it. We are sending you lots of good thoughts, warm hugs, and sloppy kisses. We are sure the pups are working hard to help you. Maybe Santa will you bring you a new furry to put a big smile on your face and in your heart.

Hugs and Woos - Lightning and Misty and Mom

Mad about Craft said...

I'm so sorry you having such a hard time, it's miserable! I do hope feel better soon. xxx

Ruby said...

Oh man, I've missed sooooo many posties! I am so sorry that nasty depression has a hold of you. And I'm sorry no meds can help you either ~ that's just sucky. Ma is getting one of those light boxes for xmas, cause she gets that SADD, and it's gonna be a rainy winter and she gets cranky if she doesn't see the sun. SO not the same thingie, I knows, butts I am sendin' lots of light your way, and lots of slobbery kisses and wet nose pokes and extra furs if you needs it!!! Oh, and if you wants to have some of those special pupcakes with the sprinkles, I'm sure the puppers won't mind! (hey, if you could throw me one too, I wouldn't turn it down....just sayin'....☺)
Ruby ♥♥♥